Awww!! Darling you look Stunning....

DISCLAIMER:

While this assumption is based upon generality…there r always exceptions to it so if u don’t like it..think u are an exception ,now continue reading!!

“Awwww!! Darling u look stunning!!” , was the comment by a girl on a freshly uploaded pic of one female friend of mine that actually inspired me to come up with this post. Most women are more sensitive about their looks than their feelings. Criticize how she looks and you risk hurting her and hurtling yourself out like yesterday’s chapatis. And how do you gauge her sensitivity? It’s simple, just try clicking her pic. Slowly take out your camera, aim and wait for the miraculous transformation. Watch her eyes turn into limpid pools of kindness, prepare to get blinded by her dazzling smile. But not before she flips her hair, turns her face 45 degrees north (her best angle), pinches her cheeks and smiles her mysterious smile. The one that makes her look like Monalisa plus the teeths

You see, she wants the world to see what she sees in the mirror. Candid clicks are a big no and you can’t get away with just one shot. You are expected to click her again and again from different angles. It’s not because she doesn’t trust you. Experience and many ugly mugshots have taught her that you and your camera take time to warm up to her loveliness. So, she is willing to say cheese 17 times, just for the sake of a priceless capture from her perspective. The one she can proudly show to her grandkids, when she gets old and wrinkled. Then she will grandly inspect all the shots you took and make you promise to delete the unflattering ones. If you don’t, you risk her wrath. If you upload it on Facebook, you risk getting killed.

              Women have a secret pact – “thou shalt not tag/upload any ugly shots of ours”. The moment a friend takes out her/his mobile and aims, they exchange that secret look. “You will make me look like the diva that I am actually”. Photos that inadvertently capture Parties indulgences spilling out of there jeans or make them look like a hungry hippopotamus, are meant to live happily ever after in the recycle bin. Since most photos are clicked for the sake of Facebook, they make sure each one of them is informed once they have been uploaded. And then they wait for the comments to follow. Look aghast when only 15 friends like it. Pretend to blush when someone gushes about how she looks.

                                               

Follow the instructions carefully.

In my distorted opinion, women spend 33.3% of their lives complimenting each other about their looks. One look at a new profile pic on a social networking site and you’ll know what I’m talking about. Out of the 55 comments she gets, 49 will be from her girlfriends, rest will be of those wannabe boyfriends (who are still in the lane)– “Ooo, you gorgeous thing!” Again there’s a secret pact. In a parallel universe it’s called reciprocity. “You praise me and I will praise you back – get it?”

I blame social networking sites. Before Facebook, they wud quietly click a few dozen pics of them frolicking in GOA or a Hill side trip, stick them inside an album with a floral cover, wait for relatives to come over and pounce on them. They’d leaf through the albums, sip RoohAfza and make a few appreciative noises. That was it. To be called beautiful, they had to solely rely on the free services provided by roadside Romeos. Of course, except that the verbally challenged ones could only express their appreciation by whistling. And that was perfectly okay! And now thanks to our 567 online friends, who spend all their waking hours waiting to like you and your pics, how can you not believe that you are God’s gift to mankind?

Men seem to be under the impression that they dress up for them. Let me roll on the floor laughing before I shout – you are so wrong! “Nope, they dress up for other femmes”. Only a woman is capable of noticing the finer nuances of appearance of her species –“the all new plum shade of lipstick”, “the perfectly tailored trouser that sits so flatteringly on her bum”, “the brand new clunky watch!”And it takes them exactly 10 seconds before they furnish this appraisal. Now when they turn towards their man and all they will be able to muster is –“ looking nice, babe!”. They try their best not look affronted and smile painfully. Yes, it hurts to be called nice. It hurts more if someone calls you cute and it hurts the most when someone has the audacity to suggest – Erm! You look better in your photographs. Try saying that and you will be hurled out like yesterday’s chapatis.

                 It’s because all of them would like to believe, that they are prettier and slimmer than there pics. But if you want to risk life-long affection from her, try looking for her inner beauty or just fake even if you cant. Tell her she is different and unique and she stands out from other women. The next thing she will ask you is the details and to elaborate “What so different about me!!” all you got to do is tell her, whatever properties of her irritates you in a most “positive & eccentric manner” that’s it ,trust me! it has worked for me all the time. Coz they are suckers for men who appreciate them for the person they are.